The countdown to our wedding day is officially on - 23 days from today we will be tying the knot! Eeekkk! To say we are excited is an understatement! While we have been preparing for this day over the last year, we've learned the most important part of the preparation is preparing for our marriage.
We will be getting married in the Catholic church and fortunately the church makes sure we have taken the time to prepare you for marriage. Now, I'm sure the first thing that crosses your mind is how can a priest prepare a couple for marriage since he has never been married. Good point, the same thing has crossed my mind. We had the fortunate experience to work with a couple who sponsored us through the church - they are awesome! We spent five class sessions getting to know them, learning from their marriage experiences and preparing for our marriage.
Our five sessions covered communication, family, finance, faith, and intimacy. What's a little ironic about these five topics is that they are the ones that are least likely to be talked about and most likely to cause a divorce. Even though Adam and I have lived together for going on two years, there were still a few things we haven't talked about. There is a difference between being "pretty sure you know" and actually talking about it.
Let me share a couple of topics that stuck out to me...
Understanding how your family communicates may answer a few questions about how and why you and your fiance communicate the way you do.
How we raise our children within our faith is important! It goes beyond Sunday mass and religious ed classes.
Another thought provoking topic was "what if we can't have children" and what does that mean for our marriage? Seriously, that's huge! I don't think many people go into a marriage thinking that it may not be possible.
Fortunately for us, finance was fairly easy and living together helped that. We both got to experience how the other spends money. But if you aren't willing to openly share or see signs of poor financial management, now is the time to talk about it.
Intimacy is more than sex. It's about being together, sharing your minds, hearts, and faith. Picture yourselves when you are old... what will you have left? Intimacy. Think "The Notebook" here... :)
Now here is the kicker. We started our sessions talking about communication and that is the foundation for everything - our willingness to openly communicate. The question that brought me the most confidence in our relationship was this one "Besides your spouse, who do you confide in? Would you tell your spouse
everything that you tell the person you confide in?" Our answers were yes and that makes me happy.
We often joke saying "You're Stuck With Me" when we do something that frustrates the other but it's true, we are stuck with one another. It's a commitment we've chosen to make thru thick and thin; in good times and in bad.
While preparing for our wedding day has been fun, we are both excited for our marriage and the possibilities it brings to life!
The most important question that anyone getting married needs to answer is... do you want a wedding or a marriage? They are extremely different.
